CBC

Teacher who revealed herself as transgender in school inspires her students and colleagues to live their truths

Michael Megenbir was someone who generally separated his personal life from work. That is to say until one day in June 2017. Sitting among his fellow educators in the library of the Regina school where he was working at the time, the intensive support teacher stood up during the end-of-year staff meeting to let colleagues know he was transgender. “I really love you and I respect you all, and I think you all feel the same way about me,” recalls Megenbir, now 37. He went on to tell them that when they returned to work in the fall, he would change his name to Michael and use the pronouns he / him. Megenbir’s palms were sweaty as he assessed the room. “I remember looking and seeing the faces, focusing on a few staff that I had become very close with and just watching them smile,” he said. Then came the applause. “It was honestly a little overwhelming, but in a good way,” Megenbir said. “It gave me that little confidence boost and it just let me know I was doing the right thing.” In 2018, Megenbir underwent his long-awaited upper surgery, marking the first time in decades that he has said he felt “comfortable in my own skin”. (Submitted by Michael Megenbir) Allison Boulanger, who knew Megenbir as a friend and colleague for years before her transition, remembers smiling and cheering in the crowd. “When he got up to tell the staff, you could see it was something for him and that was the way he should live his life – and live his life honestly,” she recalls. to have thought. Megenbir was reassured that he had the support of his colleagues and the school administration; what he couldn’t predict was how his openness to his identity would inspire his students and colleagues to live their truths and pave the way for more conversations about inclusion in schools. ‘Business as usual’ Fast forward to the new school year this fall, and Megenbir said it was a good surprise that there was ‘very little change’ in the way people were treating him . He joked that it was almost like his colleagues were training in the summer. “It was kind of business as usual,” he said with a chuckle. Megenbir noted that apparently small things, like the use of her pronouns and her new name, had the biggest impact on feeling accepted. And in case people got it wrong, they quickly corrected themselves and didn’t draw attention to it. “He was the happiest he had ever been,” Boulanger recalled, noticing him. “You could tell he felt like himself. The following year, Megenbir underwent long-awaited upper surgery – a mastectomy and a chest sculpting procedure. “It was the first time in my life since I was probably nine or 10 that I felt good about myself,” he said. Megenbir dressed up as Kenny Rogers for Halloween in 2019 while her friend and colleague Allison Boulanger dressed up as Dolly Parton. (Submitted by Michael Megenbir) Making students feel ‘a little bit more understood’ When the opportunity arose for Megenbir to help start a gay alliance (GSA) at school, it naturally triggered conversations about her gender identity with students. On the first day of GSA, when he invited everyone to introduce themselves, he said, “I am delighted to be here and to be a part of GSA because I am transgender” – which surprised a few students. . All I hope my students will take away from any meeting with me personally is that it’s OK to be who you are. – Michael Megenbir Some children told Megenbir that he was the first person from the LGBTQ community they had met. This is the moment when he knew how to share a piece of which he was added a layer of support for the children who needed it. “All I hope my students will take away from meeting me personally is that it’s good to be who you are,” he said. “As an educator, if that’s the only thing I teach a student, I’ll feel like I’m doing my job.” Megenbir and his alumnus Rylan Moir show off their matching mustaches at the Regina Pride Festival in 2018. Megenbir said the support he received during his transition from his students and their parents was ‘overwhelmingly positive’ ‘. (Submitted by Michael Megenbir) As a teacher outside of the LGBTQ community, Boulanger said having Megenbir as a resource for students across the school has been invaluable. “I would always tell the students, ‘I’m here if you want to talk to me,’ but Mike was just the person they turned to because he just knew what was going on and how they were feeling,” he said. she declared. “He just has a way to make them feel a little more understood.” Thinking back to growing up in rural Saskatchewan, Megenbir wonders how different his gender identity journey could have been had he had a teacher open to being queer or resources like a GSA. He thinks it might not have taken him up to 30 years to live out his truth if he had had these positive influences. “It was really hard to feel that you were different, and also to feel like something was wrong with you because of it,” he said. He cites as an example a photo of him in a dress at his parents’ wedding. When he looks at his childhood photos, Michael Megenbir says he doesn’t recognize who he was on the outside; however, on the inside he said he was “exactly the same now, just in a different package.” (Jessie Anton / CBC) “As a kid, I never liked dressing up, especially in a dress,” he said. “This photo shows how my family explains who I am and always have been: a little awkward, dancing to my own drum and not caring what other people think of me. I’m exactly the same now, just in different packaging. ” LGBTQ Inclusion in the Classroom Talking about LGBTQ representation among teachers is also important, said Raylee Perkins, teacher librarian at another school in Regina. “No matter what a person’s story is, it’s often sad and steeped in trauma,” Perkins said. “To see someone like Mike who is happy and radiates this love and joy, it shows that you can have that joy in your future too – and you don’t always see it in books or on TV.” Raylee Perkins, a Regina teacher-librarian who openly identifies as queer in school, says it’s important for teachers and students to see role models of LGBTQ behavior with positive experiences. (Richard Agecoutay / CBC) Part of why Perkins is open to the idea of ​​identifying as queer in school. Advocacy work to promote LGBTQ inclusion in the classroom tends to fall on its shoulders, despite the best efforts of allies around it. “Sometimes I feel like I’m the only queer voice in the room or the only queer voice in the conversation, and that can be really tiring,” she said. According to the Saskatchewan Ministry of Education website, the government “is committed to ensuring that schools are safe and inclusive environments for all students, including those who identify as gender and / or sexual diversity ”. This includes encouraging school divisions to develop policies specifically to include groups, such as GSAs, to create safe spaces for LGBTQ students and their allies. The province’s 2015 Deepening the Discussion: Gender and Sexual Diversity framework also contains a curriculum for teachers and school administrators. The Regina Public School Board also recently unanimously approved teacher and staff training on gender and sexual diversity. Although LGBTQ inclusion exists in the program, Boulanger said there were still teachers who did not cover it in their classrooms. “If they can start talking about it and talking to people who identify as LGBTQ, it might help them realize that it’s not something to fear, it’s something to learn and grow. “she said. Creating More Inclusive Spaces for Transgender People To ensure that her classroom or library is visibly inclusive for transgender people, Perkins hangs posters that demarcate the room as a safe space, and she wears rainbow pins. sky and pronoun buttons. “For some kids, they’ll never notice these little details, but for kids who need them, they’ll notice even the tiniest detail,” she said. Perkins is also keen on answering difficult questions and having more complex discussions with his students. Megenbir’s friend and former colleague Allison Boulanger says having openly LGBTQ teachers can give students a sense of belonging. be the most impactful. Looking back on Megenbir’s positive “exit story” at work, Perkins said he created a safe place for other LGBTQ people to do the same. “Both [students and teachers] can look to him as a role model or to hope – anything for them, “she said.” The more we can see it and talk about it and not be afraid of these conversations and face it head-on , I think we will make more progress. “